When we used to get into our disagreements, my ex husband used to ask me incessantly, “What is it that you like about me?”
To which I would answer…
I like that you’re caring.
I like that you are kind.
I like that…hmmm… I really didn’t know.
And would struggle to come up with answers.
It was embarrassing to me and I didn’t want to be un-kind, but I really couldn’t think of much about him that I liked.
Sure, I liked what he did for me —
He would take me out on dates, pay for gifts and trips, I felt taken care of… financially.
But emotionally, it was hit or miss whether I felt close to him on any given day or moment.
And personality wise, there wasn’t much I liked.
Now, you might wonder, why I got together with him and why I took that journey into marriage, and that was something I used to wonder about too…
But this was before I understood what was really going on – it was before I knew about my childhood wounds…
And when you aren’t aware of your childhood wounds and haven’t done work to heal them, then they rule you.
You see, my childhood wound blinded me. Like it is most likely, blinding you.
And that’s why and how our relationships get so complicated.
Because we’re operating on a subconscious level to find our match.
And by “find our match” I am talking about how on a subconscious level, your Soul is looking to heal these childhood wounds.
So rather than being able to “be logical” and pick a good partner for yourself long term…
Your subconscious mind and unhealed childhood wounds jump in and choose your partner for you.
So let’s go back to my story, so you can see how this plays out for someone who’s outside of you. See what you can learn and how it relates to you.
So with this guy, from the minute I met him, he started spending money on me.
He was from England and I was from New Jersey and after the first time we met (we were both on vacation), he came to visit me within just a few weeks.
To which he had paid over $1,000 on a plane ticket to see me…
He spent hundreds of dollars on a hotel room…
He spent lots of money on meals and touristy adventures…
And so on.
And I thought – and everyone around me (because everyone around you is operating with the SAME childhood wounds! This is why it’s a bad idea to get advice from your mother or a friend!) – it was romantic and sweet…
But little did I know, him spending all this money on me had activated one of my childhood wounds!
The childhood wound we’re talking about here is:
Being financially taken care of means I’m loved.
And in intimate relationships, I’m financially taken care of, but emotionally unfulfilled.
And can you relate to this?
Or maybe you have a version of it?
These childhood wounds are so sneaky and complex that if you have not begun the exploration into getting to know your True Self, they will decide every relationship for you and even effect every area of your life.
So let me go into this a bit more, so you can see how this plays out so subtly in our lives.
So when I was a child, my financial needs were met.
This was very nice of my parents and I appreciate them for all the hard work they did to be able to provide for me.
So many of us were raised this way.
We had parents who knew that one of their jobs as a parent was to financially provide for their children.
But many times, while ones’ parents were out there making money and focused on their job, their children’s emotional needs weren’t met.
So what happens is that many of us are now grown adults who feel emotionally empty or unfulfilled.
We either are in a relationship where we feel alone.
Or stay away from relationships, because none of them can fulfill our needs.
So since to me, spending money on me equaled love, when I met this guy who was so good at providing financially, I automatically – and unconsciously – thought I had met The One.
Of course there were other factors that contributed there, but I am simplifying it for the sake of this blog.
So this can – and probably – has happened to you, too.
It’s what happens to all of us when we have unhealed childhood wounds.
They taint how we view the world (and the partner we pick).
Because when we were going through our courting period, I wasn’t even consciously thinking about whether I liked him as a person or not… I was simply blinded by what he was doing for me.. what he was able to give me.. and how he was able to provide.
And maybe this whole story sounds horrible to you, but it’s what happens to all of us in one way or another.
There is not one person on this planet who does not have childhood wounds.
And I am here to teach through my experiences, so I am sharing it here with you.
This way you can learn, grow and heal whatever unhealed childhood wounds are ruling you.
Many times, people think they love someone, when it’s really just an activation of their childhood wounds.
This is why it’s so important to spend time looking at, examining, and healing the false parts of yourself.
Because if you don’t, you’ll end up in one situation after the next in which you think is love, when it’s actually not true.
Wishing you the best in love and life,
The Love Guru
PS: Wondering if you should stay or go in your relationship?
PSS: Want to work with me?
PSSS: Want to do some healing on your own?
Copyright 2019. Blaire Allison, The Love Guru. All Rights Reserved.
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About The Love Guru:
Spiritual Teacher, Intuitive Heart Healer, Psychic Medium, Dating and Relationship Expert, Marriage and Family Therapist, Horse Healer. Blaire works with high-powered executives, entrepreneurs and celebrities who’ve experienced career success, but their love life’s a mess.
If you’re single and fed up and frustrated, she can teach you how to partner with The Universe to easily attract The One to you. She’s also able to clear all of your love life blocks.
And if you’re in a relationship and unhappy and confused, she’ll help you get to the root of what went wrong and guide you in how to fix it or help you move on with grace and ease so you never have to repeat the same patterns or experience the same pain ever again.
She’s the creator and founder of a unique healing modality called “Heart Healing” which is a form of emotional healing that gives her the ability to open and heal your heart so you can attract the love, have the relationship, and the life you desire. Sessions are a combination of spiritual principles, channeled guidance and practical exercises.
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For more info or to book an initial consult, visit www.loveguru.net